- New Semantic Entries in the Age of Floods
BOAT: (Noun) A major means of transportation.
BUS: (Noun) A large vehicle that can run on land and float on water, with suspendable tyres
CAR: (Noun) [Archaic]: Former means of transportation.
FARMLAND (Noun): A vast, natural swimming pool often used for canoeing and water polo and sometimes mistaken for road, especially in Nigeria and parts of West Africa.
Government (Noun): A system of control by a group of officials who issue completion certificates for non-existent drainage and embankment jobs.
Government official: 1. An official who connives with others of his kind to divert public funds meant for water control into his private pockets.
2. An official at loggerheads with meteorologists, especially one who pays lip service to flood control issues.
Hospital: (Noun) A workplace for fleeing doctors and nursed overwhelmed by floods.
Hospitalise (verb). Take (someone) to a place from which doctors have fled because of floods.
IDP: (Noun and adj.) 1. People fleeing flooding and who are used for photo ops by government officials, or as collateral for external loans 2. (Linguistics) Abbreviation for In-Dependent Proof of the origin of the code-mixing in tropical Africa and Asia. 3. People who resist sexual predators who have come to exploit their vulnerabilities.
IDP Camp: (Noun) A make-shift camp without water and sanitation often touted as proof that governments are caring for their distressed citizens.
ROAD: (Noun): Right of way of furious floods that have already overcome the resistance of patriotic forests, and sometimes referred to as ‘river’.
RIVER: See ROAD above.
ROOFTOP: (Noun):
1. An imaginary object protruding from deep waters, filmed by pilots of flying saucers.
2. A pointed or prism-shaped object protruding out of the ocean, which according to some theories, once formed part of human habitation.
– Lexicographed by Anaele Ihuoma
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